If you’re a human being, you’ll have shitty days
Sometimes it’ll be shitty weeks or months.
Sometimes it'll be triggered by a big life event, disappointment or hurt. Sometimes it'll be triggered by something tiny, or something you can't even put your finger on at all.
Sometimes you’ll feel confused and overwhelmed. Sometimes you’ll get anxious and freaked out.
Sometimes you’ll forget everything you’ve learned and make the same mistake you were making years ago.
I just want to let you know that that’s OK. I want to let you know that you’re not alone.
We don’t move forward in a straight line. Personal growth and success just don’t work like that. Growing involves shedding different layers and beliefs – and some are so hard to shake that we have to shed them over and over again.
These women who feel like they're only one having a tough time get a chance to see that pretty much everyone is or has been in the same boat.
I certainly don’t have dreamy days every day, even though I’ve made a career out of empowering people to feel great. I do have many more good days than bad - and for this I'm super grateful.
This week I’ve been struggling to find my groove. I’ve been sleeping badly and beating myself up for not jumping out of bed in the morning. I've been worrying about the effect not sleeping is having on my hormones (so counter productive, right!). I’ve been procrastinating. Despite launching my own guided meditation experience last week, my own practice has gone out the window this week. I’ve slipped into frustrated victim mode more than I’d like to admit.
My inner critic has been on maximum volume – telling me I’m not doing enough and that I’m not good enough. Telling me that I need to look outside myself for answers. Telling me that I can’t trust myself to make good decisions for my business and my life.
I know that these aren't big or insurmountable struggles. I get that having an off day doesn't begin to compare with the trauma and heartache so many others face on a daily basis.
But not allowing ourselves to feel down/sad/crappy because someone else is worse off than us is a very sneaky trick our inner critic uses to invalidate our emotions. So even if your one-off shitty day doesn't begin to compare to the shittiness of someone else's every day - it's OK for you to feel the way you do. It's OK for you to get frustrated and upset. It's OK for you to lose perspective. It's OK for you to be as far from an enlightened being as it's possible to be.
Because without this dark, we wouldn't strive for the light. These moments give us a chance to understand ourselves and our humanity. A chance to practice gentleness and acceptance.
And as soon as you take the position of the observer of your thoughts and feelings, you have the awareness and ability to let go of the funkiness.
So how do I find my way out of the funkiness?
I lead with gentleness. I reassure myself that everything is going to be fine. I remind myself that I am a beautiful person who's doing her best.
I gently stop allowing my inner critic to invalidate or avoid my emotions and I just sit with them in open curiosity (it’s quite amazing to watch your emotions as physical sensations).
I reconnect with that trust and intuition by tuning in and asking myself ‘What do I need right now?’
I ask for help. I ask how to ask for help.
I take what I can off my plate, and I go back to basics – I look after myself.
I shared this quote on Instagram recently, that really sums up what I'm getting at here:
Our inner critic wants us to believe that feeling good, making money, and being healthy takes a tonne of will power and discipline. But we’ve got finite stores of both and they’ll only get us so far.
When we take that step back and refocus on feeling good, that’s when we find the flow. Everything falls into place.
Our energy and motivation comes back. When you’re feeling good, the money comes (not when you’re sacrificing your health for hours spent at the computer). When you’re looking after yourself, you’ll start to feel more generous than ever – it’s the least selfish way to live your life. Your immune system, hormones, your gut, your loved ones, your boss, your followers will love you for taking that extra care.
No one is going to be able to look after you as well as you. You know better than anyone what you need.
So beautiful, let me ask you - what do you need right now? What will allow you to show up as your best? What are you inspired to do?
I'll leave you with a few of my favourite places to get real:
- Snapchat – I LOVE how real and off-the-cuff Snapchat is. Follow me at ameliamharvey
- My Happy Healthy Inner Peace group – the support and openness of the women in this space blows me away. I love sharing thoughts, inspirations and oracle card readings with this gorgeous community.
- Soul Sister Sessions Online – here the discussions go deep, the vulnerability and courage of them women in this course is like no other. One of the things I love most about Soul Sisters is that the masks come off - from the very first session, no-one is there to be prefect, everyone is there to be real.
- Of course, right here on my blog is one of my favourite places to be real as well.
Sending love and acceptance your way,