On Thursday night, I went along to Mel Ambrosini’s book launch for Mastering Your Mean Girl (it’s great, read it!).
The room was packed with the beautiful energy of a big group of Perth goddesses and, as always, Mel was super inspiring and lovely. To share some of that goodness with you I wanted to share a few of my biggest take-aways from the evening…
Letting go is the ultimate act of love
When Mel spoke about choosing love over fear, she spoke about how we choose to hold on to our old stories from a place of fear. These stories form our identities and keep us stuck in our comfort zone, unconsciously repeating the same old patterns and getting the same of results. She asked us to write down of what we’re holding on to. Always ready for some personal development, I sat there with my pen poised. My mind was full of things I used to hold on to, to name a few…
- Using food to deal with emotions
- Thinking I needed to be thinner to be liked and desired
- Frustration or negativity towards some family members, friends, or ex boyfriends
- Strict all-or-nothing mentality when it came to food and exercise,
- Constantly weighing myself and using that as a barometer for how worthy I was
- Beliefs that I’m not special enough
- Feeling self conscious is social situations
- Feeling that I needed alcohol to feel outgoing
- Frustration of not having enough money/clothes/friends/etc
Over the last few years, I’ve dived head first into a mountain of self reflection and work with mentors, coaches and guides and… I have let go of every single one of those things. (I actually made a video on the topic the other week that you can watch here). Not only that, I’ve been able to help hundreds of women let their stuff go to – by creating a career that truly lights me up.
Which lead me to my next big take away...
Celebrate how far you’ve come
To realise that my Mean Girl has way, way less influence on my than she did a few years ago made me really appreciate how far I’ve come. Personal development is never ending and usually happens in gradual increments that we don’t necessarily notice! It’s all too easy to forget to stop and take a second to feel freaking proud of ourselves for growing.
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably done some sort of personal development already. This is your reminder to CELEBRATE that – you’re doing an amazing job.
The power of support and sisterhood
Sadly, our culture has some tendencies for women feel as though we’re in competition with each other. Gossip, bitchiness, and judgment about other women is far too common and the thing is – this says WAY more about the gossiper than it does the gossiped. There’s a saying that goes ‘What Susie says about Sally, says more about Susie than it does about Sally’ and that’s exactly what I’m getting at!
Mel guided us through a beautiful exercise that really made me realize the power of supporting and celebration other women. We were split into two groups – one that stood, spread around the room, eyes shut and another that walked around the room, whispering into each woman’s ear the one thing she wish she’d know as a child. It was so incredibly powerful – as I stood there, I heard…
‘You are enough’
‘You are limitless’
‘You are beautiful just the way you are’
‘You’ve got this’
‘You can do anything’
‘You are perfect just the way you are’
‘You are allowed to be happy’
‘It is safe for you to shine’
It was so moving, I felt like I could cry happy tears! A) Because a few years ago I wouldn’t have believed a single word and now I really believe all of those things to my very core, and B) Because every single one of us should hear those words from the day we are born and really, truly believe them.
As women, we need to spend more time listing each other up. Start now by choosing one of the statements above to text to a soul sister now.
Other juicy tips for Mastering Your Mean Girl:
- We can't change other people, we can only lead by example
- Eliminate the words should, can't and busy from your vocabulary
- Drop your expectations of others
- Practice awareness of your Mean Girl so that you can ask her to leave when she pipes up
- Let your intuition guide you
- Time out for self love is crucial
- There is only love - fear is just our Mean Girls creation
- When we are present, our Mean Girl is silent
Have you read the book? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Image from melissaambrosini.com