Amelia Harvey
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4 easy steps I used to stop holding myself back

Do you ever feel like throwing it all in because, who are you kidding, you're never going to get that body/career/partner/life that you dream of?

Are you frustrated that you can’t make changes stick? Feel like its only a matter of time until you give up and go back to your old ways?

Wondering why, when you feel as though you want something so badly and set out with the best intentions that you just never end up following through?

Here's whats going on:

Without realising, we all have stories that we tell ourselves about who we are as a person. These stories are exactly whats holding you back from living the life of your dreams.

When I say stories I’m talking that (rather critical) voice in your head. The one that says things like:

  • “I’m not smart enough”
  • “I’m not pretty enough”
  • “I’m not thin enough”
  • “I always give up on things”
  • “I don’t have time”
  • “I’m too old”
  • “I’m too young”
  • “I’m not that kind of person”
  • “I’d probably fail anyway”
  • “I don’t have enough money”
  • “I don’t have enough willpower”

I know I’m guilty of telling myself “I don’t have time”. Without realising I was giving power to this statement by not only saying it to myself but also often saying it out loud to my man or my mates. As I result I always felt like I just had too much on my plate and that I’d never get it all done.

The first step to overcoming these stories and limiting beliefs is becoming aware that you are telling yourself them in the first place. As soon as you notice that you are telling yourself one of your “stories” acknowledge it as just that, a story. See it as separate from the truth. Understand that it is serving no purpose other than to hold you back and let it go.

To really give that negative old story the heave ho, replace it with a positive affirmation. Something like “I am enough”, “Now is the perfect time for me to be doing this”, “I have everything I need”,  or “I am ready and willing to change”.

As soon as I became aware that not having enough time was a result of me constantly and unconsciously believing my “I don’t have time” story, I began to see a shift. I started to replace “I don’t have time” with “I have time to do everything I need to be doing”.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I felt empowered.

I even noticed work or social plans being cancelled in ways that were out of my control – suddenly I had the time to make that yoga class, write that article, or work on that project. I discovered new and super useful time-saving tricks and techniques (in case you’re wondering - the Pomodoro technique and compartmentalising have changed the way I work).

Remember that you are never totally at the mercy of your circumstances, no matter how much you feel that you are. There is always something you can do to improve your situation that doesn’t involve manipulating your external world – it’s all about reassessing your thoughts and perception of what going on – changing that “story” your mind is telling you.

So here’s how to stop holding yourself back:

  1. Focus in what it is you’re trying to achieve
  2. Identify the stories you are telling yourself that are stopping you achieving
  3. Practice awareness - remind yourself that this story is not the truth very time it pops up
  4. Create an affirmation that directly aligns with what it is you want to bring into your life (this statement will usually say the opposite of your "story"). Write it down and read it every day. Repeat it to yourself when your “story” pops up.

This is an ongoing process – you will probably find that you tell yourself stories throughout all areas and stages of you life. The awesome news: now you’ll catch them before they start to influence your actions.

The thing is, changing your life begins with changing your mind.

Know that you can rewrite those stories to tell the story that you want to tell, the story of your life as you dream it to be.

So tell me, what “story” has been holding you back? Are you ready to kick its butt outta here?

Lots of love,

Xx Amelia